by toyyyys

My little sister gets straight A’s.
She’s a whole three years younger than me and, embarrassingly enough, is always willing to help me on my college math that I struggle with.
However, when you tell her to fetch your wallet, she searches high and low in every place that doesn’t make much sense whether that be behind the toaster or under the TV.
My best friend Michael is one of the most intelligent boys I’ve ever met.
He doesn’t do his homework but aces all of his tests with perfect scores.
His brother is even more so than him.
Talking to that kid is like swallowing a few tabs of acid and taking a peep into the back corners of your mind that are too dimly lit to see otherwise and analyzing the molecules of the content.
Michael mocks his brother for not having any common sense and says that he’s not smart.
He laughs when I tell him that I wish I was smart, because he says that I am very smart, just maybe not as intelligent as others.
He helps me make sense of words– seeing that there is probably a difference in the similar definitions like he insists.
However, my insecurity still exists.

Don’t feel bad for me.
I don’t feel bad for me.
Don’t pity others but try to understand them.
I’m obviously not dumb; how can a philosopher ever be such a word as ‘stupid?’
But the world has put such an emphasis on school and I was never very elite in it.
It’s difficult to school.
“The American dream is a dream of “getting ahead,” painted in strokes of gold wherever we look.” (Zinsser 1) and it’s hard to flourish in front of others when you just don’t have it in you.
You see prodigies all the time on the news.
You feel as if it’s too late to start practicing basketball because that ten year old will always be a few steps ahead of you and you’re already a decade older.
Yes, this is indeed a negative thinking process.
Nonetheless if you’ve been in an orchestra before you know how first chair is looked at.
Even second chair barely matters, especially facing the concert master.
Without the rest of the orchestra the five first chair musicians could still play– they would play just a lot quieter.
But they wouldn’t fail to prosper.
I never gave up in school but I never tried my hardest probably because I knew I could never beat the best.
I was better at other things.

I think my biggest achievements I’ve ever accomplished have been in art.
Maybe that’s so because I love it.
Ceramics is the perfect anxiety reliever; it has brought me to new dimensions, literally from 2D to 3D, and has allowed me access to new mediums to express my talents.
This has nothing to do with intelligence really, but brings me to the point that some people are really awesome at Algebra and others at Drawing.
The system allows the mathematicians more opportunity.
But honestly I have never failed to beat the system and rise to the challenge.

Fuck the System.